Well well, I'm finally getting my thoughts "together" and blogging

It's been way too long since I last blogged, do you realize my last post was on the 25th of September? I know, right? It's been forever. But oh well, I'm sitting down and blogging now. Blogging has always been good for me and since I'm getting my stuff together again I think I should get back into the swing of regular posting.
A ton of important things has happened since my last thought jumble! I suppose the key things to know without making some bijillion odd posts would be:

• I have a pet Bearded Dragon, his name is Meeko.
• I'm obsessed with Skyrim.
• I'm obsessed with social networking which would include; Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Pintrest, Instagram, and things of that nature.
• I don't have my good 'ol LG phone anymore, I've upgraded! I am the proud owner of the Droid Bionic.
• I'm employed! Payin' them billz.
• I dyed my hair. Red.
• I actually go to the gym now. No more throwing away $40 a month.
• I'm learning to love myself. 
• I'm redecorating my room. Woo!
• I'M GOING TO KOREA IN SEPTEMBER. But that's for another post. It needs a whole post to it's self.
• I really have to pee right now, so I'm going to go do that and then come back to this.
• One Direction. 

End of post.

Have you ever?

Have you ever thought I do what I do because /I/ want to? I look what I look like because /I/ want to? I'm not going to impress you, I'm going to make myself happy.
Do you think I really care what you think? No.
I'm going to live my life, now stop bothering with mine and go live yours.

I wish other people would pour as much time and heart into their relationship with me as I do for them.

I love this

DATING APPLICATION

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER:

NOTE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS

ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE FINANCIAL STATEMENT, JOB HISTORY, LINEAGE,

AND CURRENT MEDICAL REPORT FROM YOUR DOCTOR.

GENERAL INFORMATION:

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If “No”, explain:

____________________________________________________________

_

_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain

____________________________________________________________

________

____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or

a belly button ring? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND

LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

____________________________________________________________

__

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

____________________________________________________________

__

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

____________________________________________________________

__

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

Father? _____________

Mother? _____________

Pastor? _____________

SHORTANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are

confidential.

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C. A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE

BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE

AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER

TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. ______________________________

___________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ______________________________

__

Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ______________________________

__

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.

Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try

to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you

injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two

gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch

your back) To prepare yourself, should you, by some ice cube’s chance in HELL, be

even remotely considered, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating,

which is attached to this Application.

Daddy's Rules for Dating

Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy)

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a

package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so

long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep

your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to

wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their

hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your

friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded

about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the

door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and

I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do

not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter,

I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in

place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing

a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it

comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each

other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the

day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is

an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my  house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with many opportunities to

date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my

daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you

will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If

you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear,

and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to

be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is

putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the

Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do

something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:

• Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden

stool.

• Places where there is darkness.

• Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

• Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my

daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other

than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her

throat.

• Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided;

movies which feature chain saws are okay.

• Hockey games are okay. Old folks’ homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a slow, potbellied, balding,

middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter,

I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you

where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the

truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a

shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the

sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice

paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in

my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring

my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should

exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter

password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter

home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for

you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Doctor Who - Observations

The Eye-Patch Lady:

I don't think the important question is who the Eye-Patch lady is. I think the far more important question is why Amy can see her.

 

 

Mirrors?:

So, the scene where Amy is in the little girls room, looking at a picture of herself, ends up in a room with the little girl astronaut Time Lord and some Silents. Cut scene. Canton is standing outside a locked door.
Okay so, did the Silence lock the door before or after they took Amy? I saw them shutting the door to keep Amy in and Canton out, but then how did the Silence and the little girl get out? What’s the point of shutting and locking the door after you’ve taken Amy? A diversion? How do the Silence travel from one place to another?
There are several interestingly-placed mirrors in a few shots.
Example: In the bathroom where Amy encounters the Silent, and the little girl’s bedroom when Amy encounters the little girl.
Both times there are super weird scene angles, and much like the scene in Amy’s house where an off-center camera angle shows us the mysterious stairs to the third level, these weird scene angels show us mirrors....
What if the Silence travel through mirrors like the Siren in Curse of the Black Pearl?

A mirror/reflection can act as a portal between worlds, right? This makes some people positive, that because the lake in Impossible Astronaut was reflective, the astronaut came from another universe. I don't think so. There are WAY too many loop-holes for this theory, my one major turn off from this is that a mirror is still; unmoving. The lake was CLEARLY in motion, meaning NOT STILL.


Amy's house/Amy:
Amy’s house is bigger on the inside. When little Amy and The Doctor are outside her room in The Eleventh Hour episode, I can plainly see a staircase leading to a third floor. However, Amy’s house as seen from the outside, only has two floors. The staircase that leads up to the suspicious third floor is identical to the staircase in The Lodger? But Amy’s house is the opposite from The Lodger, I think. In The Lodger, we know the staircase leads up to an abandoned time engine. A perception filter made everyone think there was an upper floor. Amy’s house, on the other hand, is masking an upper floor. Why is there a difference???
If we assume that identical stairs in both places lead to the same thing, I think it’s because the time engine in Amy’s house is actually functioning and is cloaking itself. Yup, Amy’s house has a functioning TARDIS above it.
Her house is bigger on the inside, after all.

So who is piloting that time engine? Probably The Silence. Some people think that The Silence cannot pilot time engines, I disagree, for now at least. When Amy is kidnapped we are taken to the time engine. What do we see? A bunch of Silents clearly using the time engine.
We assume that the time engine was the same one we saw in The Impossible Astronaut. Many people also assume it was stationary. But, if I’m right, and The Silence can pilot those time engines, then it is entirely possible they were actually flying it when The Doctor, River, and Rory boarded. What else would they be doing standing around the time engine with their hands/whatevertheirequivalenttohandsare on the control ball thingies?
If this is true, then I think the next logical step is that the time engine in The Lodger is the same one we see in Day of the Moon for several reasons:
1) If they are indeed flying it, and River performs her epicness, the time engine is going to crash. We know that there is a crashed time engine in The Lodger. A coincidence probably too big to ignore.
2) The Doctor tells us that he saw one similar to this one (alluding to The Lodger) but it was abandoned. THEN he says we are going to find out why. Alluding to the Silence that were in it dying. Either it’s these exact Silents, or other ones.
This either means it’s because it’s the actual time engine that is going to crash or it’s because The Silence using the time engine are all killed or run away after he shows the moon landing video. Either way, the TARDIS in The Lodger is not functioning.
But this does not mean the TARDIS above Amy’s house is also non-functioning. And it could very well be The Silence.

If there were a functioning TARDIS inside of Amy’s home, I have a feeling that the Doctor would know about it. Time Lords and TARDISes are connected , even if it’s not their TARDIS personally. Time Lords have additional senses that humans don’t: they have a sense for time (meaning they can tell exactly what time it is no matter where they go and they can tell how much time has elapsed for them personally; they can also predict with a certain amount of accuracy how a timeline will play out), and they also have a psychic sense where they can attune themselves to the thoughts or feelings of others and they can also see vaguely into the future (sometimes they are shown to know a great deal about what happens in the future based solely on the combination of their time and psychic senses, plus whatever personal knowledge they have of future events from being a time traveler).
TARDISes are similar—Time Lords connect with them in a psychic link and since I believe we’ve been shown that a TARDIS starts out as a living thing, it has a sentience in its own alien way and it has a sense for time as well. The Doctor would have been able to sense the presence of another being with time and psychic senses as strong as that, and he would definitely feel that there was a strong link to the time vortex nearby.
The Doctor would be able to sense that kind of thing. Two things: he was off that day, after all, he didn’t notice the perception filter over the door Prisoner Zero was in at first. There is a chance that because he was still regenerating, he didn’t have his fully equipped Time Lord ability. Also, he may not be able to tell what it is because it’s not made by the Time Lords?
The better explanation is that he did notice and that is why he was so keen on having Amy come with him. Even as a little girl, he wanted her to come along. It’s possible he knew something was up there and he wanted to get her away from it, whatever it is. Or perhaps he is investigating whatever it is by bringing Amy along. I wouldn't  put it past him, ever. He most certainly noticed the stairs. I guarantee it, 100%.

Amy calls The Doctor her best friend. I wouldn't find this weird except she was not quite sure whether she could call The Doctor a friend when she was talking to Canton in The Impossible Astronaut episode... But this could and probably is nothing. I just over think things.





OKAY. I'M DONE FOR NOW. MY BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE.

It's been a while, guys

Hey so I realize it's been like a bijillion years since I last posted but hey, I've been bu--- Lazy. Yep, that's right. Lazy.

Why?

Do you ever just lie there wondering why? Why your voice isn't heard, you're screaming but still no one hears you. You've watched and waited and now you're warning, no one listens.

A couple thoughts and feelings

You're the first thing I think of, each morning I arise.

You are the last thing I think of, each night I close my eyes.

My feelings are growing strong, with every move you make. 

You're an angel from above, who takes my pain away.

You are the miracle in my life, who always makes me smile.

Just knowing that you care, makes me life worth-while.

You've touched my heart and my soul, stained it with your love.

Your gentle words will never leave my heart. 

You're everything I want, so pure and true.

I love you with everything I have.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl, it feeds on loneliness and creates a void.

Grey shadows haunt, torment, and abuse.

A girl is stricken and destroyed.

There is not a sound of laughter or a smiling face to see, 

the little ones have given up and took the easy road home.

Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul.

It is futile to hope, dream, and pray.

Emptiness builds a home here in this woman, in this girl, this child, where hollows have bred.

A deepening sea of darkness consumes the soul,  it eats away at every connecting thread.

Confusion feels savage inside of her, she is destined to walk through life less than ordinary.

Alone.

Exiled.

Different.

&

Disdained.

~Sarah-Mae

I think they call it writers block

I've tried a million and one times to post, literally. Just today I've sat down and stared at the screen five times, yet I just couldn't get myself to type and I have no idea why. It's strange, to not be able to find the words to say, since I am a very out spoken person and enjoy long talks. I mean, there is plenty to update about but I just couldn't sit down and type it out. Don't get me wrong, I still love blogging whole-heatedly. Well, I suppose since I've taken my sleeping pill I should start getting to the point, I only have but a half hour, maximum.

Let's just start with the overall mood since the last post, shall we?
I've actually been pretty awesome, life is going well. I love my family, friends, God, and life. To be honest, it really is a newer feeling to me. Being so incredibly happy, being able to calm down and live my life. I still have speed bumps here and there obviously, but everyone does. In general I think I've been making progress, starting to grab this depression by the horns and just hang on. I mean, what else are you going to do about it? My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is still the same though, in some respects I feel like it's getting worse, or maybe I'm just still noticing more of my daily habits correlate to my OCD. I'm not quite sure. Still, everything hasn't gotten too terribly bad. Praise the Lord for that. (:

Lets move on to the Boundary Waters trip!
I feel like such a man when we go up there, really, I do. Stomping through the woods carrying super heavy packs, not showering for five days, being a beast, cliff jumping, all that jazz. I still enjoy it though, I feel like a man a lot of the time anyways. I'm like a.. woMAN. Haha. I'm dumb.
Anyways, moving on. This year I went up with my dad, sister, cousin Kellie, and cousin Leah. Just the five of us. Smaller group than some other years but still fun none the less. It rained two of the four days we were there, which kinda sucked. We were either hopping into the lake or sleeping in the tent all day. We love to read books out loud, taking turns reading. This year we read "And Then There Were None" by Agatha Christie, it was an awesome book. I've been wanting to read a book of hers for a while now, you know, see if I like the author and all that jazz. I was thoroughly impressed! Absolutely loved it. Adored it even. I think I'll look into her Miss Marple series next. We finished the whole book up there, since we had so much down time in the tent.


Ah no, I ran out of time. I'm fading away, sleeping pills says: "Sleep. Now. OR ELSE." Oh well, at least I posted something.


~Sarah-Mae

Mexico - Day Eight - On the way home

Sitting on the place at 11:15 PM. We just took off from Dallas; we were supposed to be landing in Minneapolis right now but hey, what are you gonna do about it, right? I have to admit that I have a pretty horrendous attitude right now. I'm tired and if you know me even just a little bit then you know how I get when I'm lacking sleep. I'm a really mean person to chat with and even just to be in the same room with. I'm emotionally exhausted after leaving Joyas. I feel so close to Mexico. The people, culture, food, family, even the general atmosphere draws my attention in. Somehow I feel like I belong in Mexico, I feel like I fit in. I'm wanted and appreciated, loved and adored, /needed/. Even though I don't speak much of the language and I'm still a different color, everything feels right. I can't share a piece of information right now, I hope you all can understand. I would like to tell my close friends in person before letting everyone else know. It is still in the very early planning staged and I want to hear what my dear ones say about it before informing everyone else of my hopes and new dreams.

So much is changing in my life, in every way. For the better. Not that I was a terrible person before but no one is perfect and I am striving to change my life and live for Him. I know he has a plan for me, I feel like it could be huge if I go through the proper doors. I need to let him close the doors then jump out the window, instead of closing the door myself for selfish reasons. Personal gain. I feel like I have so much to offer but I am limited in Bloomington, I know I can't change the world but I sure can do my best. I can change the lives of a few people, so why shouldn't I?


~Sarah-Mae

Mexico - Day Five

I'm laying in bed hoping I will fall asleep and stay asleep until 6.
Tomorrow we go to the Mayan pyramids, shop, swim, eat, then hop over to the Mother Church. I still want to cry as I think about the four days left here in Mexico. I pray every night that I will follow God's plan for me. Whether it is going off to Princeton or Stanford to study law and follow a career of prosecuting sex crimes, jumping over to culinary school, sliding over to floral design, or becoming a missionary and working here in Mexico. I want it to be so clear, the path I am meant to take. No matter what, I need to finish high school obviously so I have less than two years to figure out God's will for me. At least figure out a bit of it. I don't want to spend money on classes just to end up dropping out. Bleh. I just wish life was slightly easier, not too much though. I love challenges but sometimes life here on Earth is dumb. I am finding that typing on my iPod is the same speed as if I were to type this up on the computer, which is really nice but I need to find a good Blogspot app. Saving a post as a note is eas, copy and paste to a blog post and BAM. BLOG POSTED. Cool, no? It's time to try and sleep. I honestly can not take thinking about this anymore. Too emotional for right now I'll rebound into crying myself to sleep if I keep going on about having to leave Mexico.


~Sarah-Mae